The Cocksure Man
by Floopygirl
Summary: Jack is a little overconfident


Rating: 17, for language and sex

Disclaimer: not mine

A/N: I think this qualifies as R-equivalent, just about. This really shouldn't be taken too seriously.

**The Cocksure Man**

Suddenly nervous, Sam fumbled with the button on his waistband, breathing in sharply when he pushed her hands aside. "Let me."

She watched as he deftly unbuttoned his fly and shrugged his pants over his hips, letting them fall to the floor. His boxers soon followed, and he kicked them off with a minimal amount of hopping from one foot to the other.

Sam stared, her eyes dark and huge. Oh.

Well. She wasn't shallow - she _wasn't_ - but the rumours running round base had been very graphic, and had led her to have certain expectations. And this... well, this wasn't quite what she'd anticipated. Sam swallowed.

_Oh_.

He looked so cocksure - and oh God, that was the wrong word to be using here, even just to herself - as she continued to stare at him without speaking. "Sam?"

She licked her lips, stalling for time. When she'd found herself losing faith over the years, Teal'c had comforted her and assured her that all the waiting would be worth it, and she'd believed him because of the open-plan layout of the SGC locker rooms. _Bastard_.

Slowly Jack's smile drooped, along with certain other parts of his anatomy. "_Sam_?"

And Daniel had said the same thing, as well - and she was pretty that at one stage he'd had some hands-on experience with Jack's package, so he really ought to have known. Still, it wasn't like size _really_ mattered, and she had a whole drawer full of props if she ever needed something extra.

Sam curved her lips in her sexiest smile and raised her chin. She loved this man, shortcomings and all, and she knew what she had to do.

"Jack?" He perked up at her tone - all of him. "_Sexinate_ me."

His eyes darkened as he took a eager step towards her. "Yes ma'am."

He kissed her very nicely, easing her down onto the bed, and the hand he slipped between them proved to be quite a distraction from the Bart Simpson 'bite me' socks that he'd forgotten to take off. Sam closed her eyes very tightly and reminded herself how nice it would be not to have to worry about her gag reflex for once. As Jack pressed harder and _twisted_, she stopped thinking altogether.

"Sam, you're so hot and _tight_!"

Sam's eyes flew open: surely he wasn't already... Oh. Oh _no._.

"God, that's just... Sam? Can you feel me against your cervix?"

Uh, no, thank God. As Sam shuddered, Jack clutched her hips more tightly, obviously mistaking remembered pain for passion.

"Ohhhhhhhh..." His moaning was definitely a turn-on and Sam squirmed against him, wondering why so few men were able to multi-task. He'd shown himself to be rather talented with his fingers earlier on but then he'd slid inside her, apparently, and, well, there'd been nothing since. She moved a hand down to between her thighs and began to stroke herself slowly, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"My God, Sam, so _hot_!" Sam began to rub herself faster as his back arched, face seizing into a rictus of unintentional hilarity, but she wasn't quick enough and the weight of his body slumped over her made it painful to keep moving her fingers. She sighed in frustration, wondering if he was still inside her.

And apparently Jack, commander of Earth's defensive forces and lover extraordinaire - or so Daniel had claimed, anyway - liked to pass out after sex. Sam shoved upwards and rolled him to the side, then debated whether she should take advantage of her position and get out one of her vibrators from the cabinet on his side of the bed.

He groaned as she pulled her favourite out from the top drawer and she froze, sprawled out over his bare chest. "That was pretty fucking sensational, wasn't it?" he asked.

Oh brother. "Something like that." She switched it on, unfazed as a low hum filled the room. Jack, on the other hand, snapped into awareness.

"What the hell is that noise?"

Sam eased the vibrator inside herself: now _that_ was tight. "I like to call it 'The Colonel'," she replied sweetly. She waited for Jack's grin, her breath catching as she thrust a little harder.

"I don't believe you," he exclaimed. Sam gasped in a combination of surprise and pleasure.

"What?" she asked carelessly, not really listening. The bunny ears were catching against her clit, and _oh_, so fucking _good_.

"Carter, aren't I man enough for you?"

The orgasm broke over her in a series of waves, and Sam tasted blood on her lips. Slowly her vision cleared, and she realised her ears were ringing from the sound of her screams. When she found the energy to lift her head, Jack's expression was frozen somewhere between lust and horror; when she pulled the vibrator out of herself and licked its head slowly, lust seemed to win out.

"Nine inches of plastic is no substitute for a man, you know," he said, a little gruffly.

Sam stretched languidly, feeling a lot less irritable now. "I know. It can be fun though."

"Yeah?" He gave a cautious look, which she was too lazy to try and deceipher. "So, tell me. Do they make those for guys, but less pink?"

Sam's eyes snapped open. Damn, maybe he _had_ had that affair with Daniel after all.


End file.
